Waiting For Godot Poem ( Roughdraft )

     At night I gaze ups on the starts seeking you... Searching for any form of evidence that proves your existence 

                      But I find nothing...

      Perhaps you're farther away than the naked eye can see .. Past the stars, past the sky, and beyond the Galaxy .. Maybe just maybe that is where I may find you

      I hold onto my faith that you are watching me and that one day you will meet me and save me from this crumbling world ... But I have doubts ..

            Why have you taken so long?

            Are you really out there?

            Have you simply romanced me with your mellifluous words?

            Have you taken me for some type of fool?

            Why am I waiting?

            Where are you?... I am angry.

     I scream!.. I scream!.. Where are you? 

     How could you have forsaken me?!

     I am your child... I have come from you, yet you leave me in my despair and anguish ... You allow me to suffer ...

            What kind of father are you?

                You've abandoned me!

                You've left me all alone!

                How could you do this?

     The letters you have left me say, "He restores my soul. He leads me in paths or righteousness for his names sake, even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff comfort me."

     I walk through the valley of the shadow of death everyday ... I struggle ... Life is a struggle ... Since our existence we've struggled ... 

When we were in our mothers womb we struggled...

we struggled to make it out...

we struggled and cried once we were born into this world ... 

we grow and struggle against adversities...

we struggle to thrive, we struggle to merely survive ... 

We struggle taking our last breaths..

from birth to death we struggle and although life can be thought of as a beautiful struggle it is also an ugly struggle ...

                   

          You said you would come comfort me yet I am still waiting 

           Waiting for you to hear me...

           Waiting for you to show me...

           Waiting for you to comfort me...

           Waiting for you to love me...

           Waiting for your approval...

     I have waited... Waited so long, relying on you, holding on to my faith that you will appear someday and leaning on the letters you've left behind, but I don't see it to be wise to wait any longer 

           My patience is tried and very thin ...

           My hope is fragile and frayed ...

           My faith is quivering ...

           My longing for you is ceasing ...

           My heart is growing cold...

     I am angry... I am doubtful... I am dismayed, yet I know you have to be out there among the stars and the sky...

           You have to be...

           You have to be there...

     

There has to be a kingdom covered in gold... 

There has to be a place with no suffering ... With no struggle

     There has to be a place where there is peace  ...

     There has to be a place where I can see my departed loved ones again...

     Oh Godot! There must be you .. Your existence must be known for if it isn't what shall I do? I am doubtful... Oh, I am weary, Godot you have made me inguish in despair but dear Godot! I am hopeful...

     I don't know why I am hopeful and have faith in your mystery ... In your absence ...  I suppose I long for you and cannot push through this struggle in this life unless I believe you are out there among the skies.

     This merely must be a test of my faith in you Godot! OR is it a sign that your existence has ceased?

         I ponder...

     I am doubtful, I am angry, I am dismayed. Oh! I am weary...

     I will not wait for you any longer ...

     I cannot spend the rest of my life waiting for you ...

            Waiting... Waiting... Waiting...

     I must take advantage of my own life and be my own hero! 

                   I will comfort myself...

                   I will save myself...

                   I will encourage myself...

                   I will cease to wait...

            Waiting... Waiting... Waiting...

     Now I see... Now it's clear... It has emerged from the depths from the depths of the earth it all makes sense... I have searched the stars and the skies, I have slept and wept! But oh Godot now I am awake... I am my own hero! How could I have been so blind, you never intended for me to wait! You never intended on me to rely on you, you are simply my teacher and I have learned the lesson... All this time I was searching and seeking for a higher power but you are merely my guide... My imaginative Godot! I have not looked to myself until now... How could I have been so oblivious?

              Surely...

          I am Godot!